Finding My Program

Six weeks ago I signed up for a graduate program in educational leadership. I was enthused and excited to take on a new challenge. Paul had just finished the same program six months earlier and I felt ready to try something new.

I’m pretty good at trying new things. In the last decade I’ve added three babies, six different homes, two international moves, seven half marathons and a host of other world-rocking events to my life.

It seemed like it was time for the next thing.

And so I began the process. Emails were sent, recommendations written, and transcripts ordered. I organized my calendar, secured the appropriate books, and began setting times aside to work on this next thing.

And then life happened. Our oldest started running track and along with that came practices, trips, and a lot more responsibility to help him learn to manage. Our middle-always our strongest and most individual child-was riding the roller coaster of tween emotions and pushing back a bit. And the youngest was busy being four. You know, the usual four-year-old package of occasional meltdowns, disagreement, and the demand and immediate resistance to independence. And of course, there’s our next international move coming up in less than six months.

Life happened. Just life.

But the program was still pulling at me. The professional growth. The possibility of redefining of my role in schools. The dare to stretch the boundaries of being a wife, mother, and teacher even further than they had been stretched before.

And then, as they do from time to time, things started unraveling. And much like a pesky thread that has the possibility to take apart a whole shirt if ignored, I knew I had to properly deal with the situation.

Because sometimes making a sweeping change in  life can actually be a way of not dealing with the life in front of us.

And so with mixed feelings, yet resolve that I was making the right choice, I decided to defer my entrance to the program.

There is so much life happening right now and I need to be present for those things.

For now, that life needs to be my program.

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One thought on “Finding My Program

  1. It takes courage and insight to accept that sometimes we just can’t “do it all” and that there is likely a better time in life to tackle that challenge. You demonstrate excellent priorities … most especially given the very huge change in your lives coming on the horizon. I am proud of your ability to discern these things (an ability I seem yet to master).

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