A good friend recently celebrated her one year “go gray” anniversary. She’s the same age that I am, in her mid-thirties, and got tired of the time and energy it took to cover up the gray hair that kept creeping in. A year ago she decided no more, and since then has let nature take its course. She now has a lovely silverish bob that looks sleek and current and, except for the occasional haircut, is relatively easy to maintain. Earlier this week she posted her anniversary pics on Istagram and I was struck by the beauty of it all. She’d splurged on a blowout and styled cut for the celebratory day, and of course, looked amazing, but that wasn’t what struck me. Instead, I recognized a piece of her was embracing her authenticity by accepting the gray. It also left me feeling that I (and I am guessing some others too) have my own gray to welcome into my life as well.
While I definitely have some gray roots popping up, for me I don’t think that’s my true gray. For me, my true gray is deeper. It’s that piece of me I keep up for the sake of other people, not because it necessarily benefits me. It’s my storefront. It’s the image that is compiled via social media. Like coloring your hair, It’s fun to keep up and I often like the look, but its taking its toll on my mental energy. I’d say that maybe it was just the 1,068 fall break beach pictures I posted over the last few days, but I’ve been feeling this way for awhile. Facebook for me is feeling like its starting to take more than its giving back. And I need to change that.
I want my energy to go towards the things that matter in the end. Like really matter. Like my faith, my marriage, my kiddos, my writing, my running, and just generally cultivating the here and now.
I need to step back and embrace my gray for a little bit.
Of course that doesn’t mean I’ll never color my hair (or interact with Facebook) again. But right now I need to learn to live with the bit of the discomfort that comes with challenging the status quo.
And I need the first thing I check on in the morning to be my sleeping babies not status updates.
So for now I’m going to do my best to hang out here and on Instagram (@kaskyfam) from time to time and celebrate letting a few grays creep into my life day by day. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first, and I am sure I’ll be tempted to throw in the towel many times over, but I have a feeling I might really like the result in the end.