I Had a Dream

2012-07-03_1341359687and not the good kind.

Paul and I stayed up WAY too late on Sunday night watching the Seahawks lose. Well, I spent a lot of that time holed up in our room because it seemed that every time I wasn’t watching the Seahawks scored. So, I did my wifely duty and stayed out of sight {more or less} until the end when I had to watch. Watch them lose. Bummer.

So Monday night I fell asleep very early. In fact, I just went to bed with Stella. Something about a good night’s sleep makes me have very vivid dreams that I often remember.

Monday morning I woke up startled and upset. I’d had a dream that Paul and I were trying out for a reality show and during the try outs he made a friend. A very pretty friend.  Such a pretty friend that I did not even want to look at her. Paul gave her is number and suggested they get together sometime.

In my dream (remember, this is a dream) I was crying hysterically and I couldn’t understand what was happening. I professed my love for Paul over and over when he finally turned to me (in the dream) and said, “Yes, you love me. But do you like me?”

I woke up with this question raging in my head. Of course, I love Paul. I like him a lot too. But do I show him how much I like him?

No. Definitely not. Because the dishes, the laundry, the crying, the whining, the exhaustion, the elation and so on seem to suck up my time. I don’t have time {or so I say} to sit and watch a movie, share a beer, or otherwise relax with my husband. You know, do the things that made us fall in love in the first place.

I know I am not alone. Kids have a funny way of asking for demanding attention. And for years, YEARS, I’ve considered that a good excuse. Mother first, wife second. That’s what good mothers do.

Lately though, that doesn’t seem like what good mothers do. Good mothers put their marriage first, remembering the laundry list of things that could possibly go wrong if you don’t.  These include, but are not limited to: poorer physical health, anxiety, lower socioeconomic status, depression, and less trust in adults. As a child of divorce that faired relatively well this idea is very real to me.

However, researchers have found that the level of a couple’s friendship is the greatest indicator of success in marriage. And couples that invest in their marriage can build deep friendships. For us, deep friendship started it all. So in 2013 I have my eye on becoming a better friend to my man.

Sunday night we shared a beer in the wee hours of the morning and we watched the Seahawks end their season. It was our best date in recent memory. It was free. We didn’t need a babysitter and it is a fun story.

Here’s to making our friendship the priority 2013.

I love you.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

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